Lilly Sway

Last month the rain limited my activities and created a daily challenge of staying dry as I tried to go about my daily tasks. One day in particular, I managed to get soaking wet twice despite the fact that I had taken an umbrella. (but when rain falls sideways…) I was doing my best to stay dry the first time as I was loading the groceries into my car in a downpour. Later, as I left the dry cleaners, someone in a hurry drove by and splashed through a puddle leaving me soaked. (I had to take the clothes right back) When I got home, I found the mail as wet as I was. Consequently, I put it in front of a fan to dry. When it flew across the table, it was dry. In my mail, there was a nasty, un-posted warning informing me that there was a complaint about the condition of my lawn. It went on to say that if the lawn was not mowed immediately, the neighborhood association could take legal action. (Did you know that they can actually seize your property for a late membership payment… my, the tangled webs we weave) I looked outside and observed that all of my neighbors’ lawns could use a little work. Obviously their landscapers did not cut the grass in the rain either. Our lawns are on a slope that causes the water to pool and there is always a need to wait a for a dry day before mowing, I suppose that I was passive regarding letter; however, I did make it a point to call the lawn service and asked them to come and mow on the first full day of sun. I was asleep when I recalled a jog that I had two days prior to the letter. I had the misfortune of running across THAT neighbor. (You know, we all have this neighbor, the one that has been there longer than anyone else, the know it all, the person who says: “You know we really should do something about Mr. Steven’s dog. Do you know that he barks right at me when I jog past? I think we need a petition or something.”) I never gave her a second thought until now, two days later at 3 in the morning. (What a dreadful person) This person had somehow managed to sneak into my home, through the mail, with full intent of malice. She had recommended a lawn service to me that day. I was not rude; I just said that I was happy with mine. It was perplexing to me. Was refusing her offer possibly rude? I thought not and was mad at this woman’s nerve by breakfast time. She was as domineering a person as you would ever want to have to deal with. Surely, this was not right. As I headed out to jog away my anger, I saw her pass. She slowed down and took advantage of the morning sun to see if I was complying. I decided to end her assumption of control there and then. I quickly caught up to her and began to match pace with her. She asked how I was. I said “not well” and with a look of concern, she asked what was wrong. I told her an ailment had struck me and was feeling bad. She stopped jogging and asked:

“Why are you even out here? Is there something I can do to help?” (She left the door wide open) I said: “Actually, you can” and proceeded to light into her. I asked “just how neighborly can one be? What is the limit of acceptable concern that one can take? What time frame do you have to follow to show that you are capable of being responsible for the condition of your own home? What gives you the right to be such a royal pain? We do our best to be solid citizens. Does that mean I have to beat to your drum? Good neighbor or bad neighbor from across the street, in the future you should avoid me like the plague.”

I guess it was a no win situation. I know that all obligations should be conducted in a timely manner; however, I also believe that people had better stand up for themselves and rise when being challenged. If one fails to do that, they are not looking at a critique of what someone believes to be wrong with what they are doing, but an order to which one must adapt right away. I made it a point to ask around, and no one else had received a letter that week. My family works hard, inside and outside of our home and maybe we’re not fast enough to get things done from someone else’s perspective, but what business does someone’s unsolicited opinion have in your own home. If you want to be a good neighbor; make a jello mold, wave to your neighbor, ask how the wife or husband is, say how their kids are growing up fast, attend neighborhood meetings, inform them of neighborhood crime that they may not be aware of, and be nice and invite them to a family cookout. This after all, is what trying to be a good neighbor means.

Food for the Mind,

Lilly Sway