Lilly Sway

Well it has been a while since I had taken a good long breath and taken a little time to do what I love to do best and that is to share a little bit of myself with those of you who may gain a little insight from my day to day experiences. Frankly there are very few and far between free moments during the day so I have decided to make use of my insomnia and write I have found that no matter how an incident can lead you on a spiral downward tract, and there is no end in sight to the fall, a person can always stop it in its tracts we have the power within us to give importance to the matter at hand or to be smart and rise above it. The story at hand is what came of it. I have been in a literal turmoil since the electric company said they had a mistake of $1,600.00 on their record for my home usage they collected their money and threw me into that downward spin until I just could not breathe, I had all of my budget thrown off, I know that you may think that wow it’s not that big a deal but to our house hold that is a large amount of money and when your back is pressed to the wall with the likes of a money mongrel like the electric company you have no way out and there is nothing to do but to fold. I have had nothing but trouble since, everything was put on the back burner for payment our house note, the gas bill, the phone the water, and since the battle was fierce the power was eventually cut off while I contested the questionable error they had made. We also had to pay a reconnect fee + a deposit which we had earned not to have to pay because of our payment history. It all went down the tubes from there. That was in December and you only have to imagine the week without power until we could not hold out due to the cold and lack of everything that you need power for, well I gained high blood pressure due to the stress of what these past few months were like, and then not to my surprise I received a bill in the mail for my electricity this end of march telling me that my bill is $1,200.00 negative and further more have no bill to pay, I would guess for maybe a month or two according to their standards of measure and their lack of skill when it comes down to it. I was not given a chance to see if I needed that money in a check they just credited my account with out so much as a by your leave and poof magic there mistake was taken care of never you mind the state I was left in. It was a bitter sweet thing, this bill, there were no apologies, there was no refund of my late fees or the reconnect fee, I can tell you that there was that overwhelming feeling of relief mixed with anger. I had been chasing my tail trying to recuperate since December, my credit is out of whack and where is the justice. I stopped dead in my tracts and just decided not to just let it begin to fester in me like a sickness. I realized the world around me was still moving forward and that there was nothing more to say but to act on the problem. I am working hard on my health and taking control of that anger I have shifted it towards a great comeback. My stress levels are acceptable and I have learned that there is more than one way to skin a cat I am, and have been saving to make our house totally solar we are going green, and in the long run our planet can even benefit from this choice. So I have managed to stop the downward spiral in its tracts and decided to work just a little bit harder to make things right again at least I can try.

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way

I had been well sort of avoiding the yearly decorating for Christmas this year. I had let myself forget the important things are sometimes the simplest. It started on Thanksgiving Day we had that horrible light bill, and then there was the slow work month before it had taken a toll on my nerves. I had all but cried over the juggling of it all to work out, just choosing the most reasonable way to actually make our world seem normal was a challenge in itself, the weather was hot and balmy all through the season, my husband decided to paint the dinning room, and then he also brought in paint for the living room and I’m not sure what other room he intends to paint, and my 13 year old had managed to get herself punished so badly that she was left in the stone ages, and the whiney phase of you just don’t love me, and the why are you just so mean now, and I’m so bored there is nothing to do, and the all to familiar as soon as I turn 18 I’m moving out. I guess I managed to believe that decorating was so important right now. That has all changed this week. I have allowed my 13 year old 2 phone calls in the last month and she’s not so very bored now, she has the table to set, the dishes to clear, the car to clean out daily, and we have found that her room does have a floor, and just yesterday at dinner she was telling my 11 year old about how she would be the one to give him his old room back if he was grown and needed somewhere to sleep. It seems as though she may stay a while longer, things were starting to change for the better (except for the paint smell and the drop cloths everywhere) I got up today at 5am to a brisk cool day and to my surprise my 9 year old was waiting for me with a his piggy bank and a hammer in tow, It turns out that his school was hosting holiday shopping for kids, and when I asked if he was sure he said mom its December 12^th 12 days until Christmas and I have to get a few things. He left with $ 15.00 all of it in change and 6 cans of food for the holiday food drive when I picked him up he had a beautiful diamond bracelet (well they looked like diamonds to him) for his sister, a tool set for his older brother an already wrapped gift for his room mate my 11 year old, an eraser he did not say for who, a tape measure for dad he was so happy and bubbling over with joy he even had change in his pocket “wow” I said you really have Christmas on the run, you have completed more than half of your Christmas list, He said well mom I got tired of waiting for you to ask me to go shopping so maybe it was you who are waiting for me to ask this year instead. So I made yours first, and then dads and a few others, but I got dad something extra because well mom he is dad. I did not let him see my tears; he was in the back of the car anyway so I’m most sure he did not see me. I helped him wrap them all in secret we had managed to sneak them in without so much as raising an ounce of suspicion from anyone. During dinner he asked my 13 year old if she knew that there were just two weeks left for Christmas, and that if she was really good Santa could possibly see his way past all of the other stuff and her stocking might have great stuff in it not just a lump of coal. She just smiled and said well I guess I’ll have to take that into consideration before I go to sleep tonight. We had our dinner in our cozy breakfast nook and noticed that it had been a while since we had eaten a meal there together by the end of dinner we realized why it was to crowed for us now but we all laughed and did not seem to mind it so much the other choice would be to eat with the smell of paint. We sat there and made plans for decorating the house and maybe having a bunch of my children’s friends over to help. I brushed off those overwhelming problems and decided to deal with what I could on a day to day basis and that just maybe right now decorating for Christmas was the most important thing to deal with.

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way