Lilly Sway

I have been studying(”in my spare time”) some of the world on the web. It is a very knowledgeable venue. I have certainly become acquainted with it these past couple of years. The most interesting thing to me is that I can search for answers to questions that  both  my children ask and those that I would not just ask anyone about.  Anonymous is the name of the game.I have started to see that the  economy  all over is well to say the least pretty shaken, and it affects us all in the long run prices are high at the grocers, and the gas prices are on the way up again.

I usually resist the temptation to just complain about every little thing , but here lately I find myself yelling at the kids to please not throw out the paper trash until I have made time to go through it for food coupons, or after spending a $100. on groceries, and I can still not make at least six complete meals from the last grocery day to the next. I have in the last few months seen 6 neighbors loose their jobs, cars, homes and some have even lost their families due to the harshness of the economic state that is simply buckling up the track that we live on.

My strategy for my family is to work hard at what I do, which is be a better mother not just(”a mother”), but a good mother, like my mother was to me. my children have breakfast everyday in their home. I am sometimes at a loss as to what to cook for us all, that will be palatable to the diverse taste buds at the table. but we sort of each find how to manage to scoff down all the meals no matter the repeated menus, or the lack of fringes, our deserts have been a combination of toast with jam cut into fingers width strips,and home made whip cream for dipping. I do the normal household chores and first and foremost are my family and their necessities and then their education. I don’t mean just send them off to school, and say well now it’s their job from here on, I really put all effort in every day homework, help with projects, stimulate interest furthering their minds, and social education, these are simple things that need to be done for the welfare of their future.

I know that it may seem to be over raising my children to some of you, but you reap what you sew, Our children yours and mine are the children who stand on the thresh hold of running our future. I believe if more people took the time to do it right the first time we would not have so many faltering family values. I have quite a bit of faith in what I do, and I take pride in my work after all children do grow and become adults, a lot of who they will be in life depends on who you have shown them to be throughout their childhood. My youngest child is 10 he is pushing boundaries as all of my children have, but I know that if I do my job right he will find his way to stay on track.

My children know that there are tough times for a lot of working class people and they certainly feel it, when we cannot waste even an end to the loaf of bread (which no one wants in their lunch) so we play musical lunches to see at their individual time to eat at school will be the (”looser”). Only then does each of my children at his or her lunch table know that they have lost the game. He or she does win eventually, and that is the point.

This may seem dumb, but even the smallest thing can make your day or ruin your day if you are a child looking for the best point of the day. There are no extra curricular activities that cost money in the day in and day out, of this rather tough economy, but we have looked on the bright side of that, and made a chart as to when things could be better or even worse for all the good hardworking people we know. We put a penny in the pot to be able to adjust out homemade time line, one penny affords you the opportunity to write in a new day of change for instance we had steak(I bought one skirt steak and cut it into strips”) very fine strips and put it over a chef salad to make a gourmet meal the other night. It got 6 cents towards the things getting better list.

I am trying to do it better each and every time, I try to make a great meal out of what ever we have, or try to sell the kids on the idea that a trip to the library instead of the mall could be fun, for the simple reason that we all have to get through these tough times together, and that we can make the most of what ever it is that we have,  not just sit and wait for what we want to make things good for us. My daughter could not join her swim team this year, she ranks first in her class, but well the $125.00 was not something we could budget into our summer, so instead of whining we have decided to cheer her friends on at the swim meets, and spend a nice day of fun in the sun on the side lines.

Maybe to my daughter it is not the best thing for her summer, but we are here to fortify her with support through her disappointments, as well as to cheer her on through her accomplishments. I am trying to take classes that are free to people 50 or older to enhance my resume. I have been trying to take on a job that would be fee sable to leave my home duties for. I need to help out in the support our household, so that we will not be on the things are getting worse list forever. The knowledge that I have to offer may be enough to  help overshadow the age on the resume. I remain hopeful either way. so everyday is a challenge but if you run across us have peace of mind that we as many other people are also just trying to do it better for those we love.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way

I have several ways of teaching my children the right way to get along in the world, usually the lessens are to explain what the consequences are to their choices of behavior or to their actions, and then there is the you jumped in with out asking so learn from it and do not do it again. That works more often than not, I know that sometime life experience is the best teacher,  sometimes it is not.

My daughter who is a 15 year old going on 25 has gotten to wear make up now, for about a year. She earned this by complying with all the rules and completing her chore list, and of course working extra jobs in our neighbor hood for her new makeup expenses. I made sure  that she took proper lessens in the world of make up art, and off she went to indulge the use of her hard earned right, she also added it to her(” I’m in charge list”). She said that she knew all that she had to know on the subject.

I felt differently and as time passed. I began to notice that she would not always wash off the mascara because she was using a waterproof brand that made it difficult to take off, When I asked her why the use of water proof she replied that she can shower after athletics, or that if she got her eyelashes done perfectly she did not have to remove the stuff, I said that she should wash it off everyday no matter what. I also told her that she could be causing damage to her eyelashes.

There ensued the battle of who could say what was right. After asking her several times to remove the makeup every day. We had the same argument. I was compelled to take it off of her (she’s in charge of that) list, and told her she could no longer use the products if she could not use them properly. I then confiscated the mascara with the option of giving it back if she would read up on the dangers of the way she was using the product. My husband said that she went to him about the unfairness of taking away something she worked hard for and had paid for on her own. I said that with the freedom of having the right to wear makeup came also the responsibility of using it properly for the sake of her health, even if it was only the external health as in this case.

I lost that battle, No matter all the warning in the world that I could give her, my daughter slipped right back into her comfort level of misuse, and then it did happen, she woke up yesterday in tears. Her eyelashes were coming off with the mascara, and they were breaking in a jagged way. I was sorry to see her suffer, and did all I could to console her, but she now has to live with the mistakes of having the power to do as she would like,  and she then must endure her loss every day. We have come to terms that although she had acquired the ways and means to get what she wanted, she had lost her objectivity to what was the right choice verses the outcome.

Maybe I was too harsh, by letting go of the subject so easily. I choose my battles with a lot of thought, I thought that my daughter who is very conscientious of what she puts into her body, would wise up about what she wears on her body, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I feel terrible about the outcome, sometimes it is easy to think that I know what is right and what is wrong.

I have only my children s’ best interest at heat when we are at odds over something or the other. I felt that my daughter would rise to the occasion, and I know that she is a head strong person also. I was wrong to just let her jump in  again, she looks as if she could die when she looks into the mirror. I am in a battle today, One that I know that I will not just give in to, My daughter feels she should be home schooled until her eyelashes grow back!

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way

Today I got a person’s comment that said (”just another whining story,referring to my family members amputation). He asked if I was aware of world hunger and if I knew anything of starving people in the world.

Well we do not live all around the world where aide is depending on the UN to feed them.  We are a nation that gives to others, and first and foremost we should take care of our own. I am sharing with the world that life is full of injustice, everywhere not just over there, but here where we are great enough to send food to others in need, others in turmoil, others who live under tyranny, others who weather war. I believe we should be strong and great enough to give our country men and women the basic chance to survive a tragic encounter that could have happened to anyone, that happened to my family member.  If we take care of our own first,  we can be strong enough to have the strength and  privilege to stretch out our hand to give help to others elsewhere. So I say to you yes I am aware of what is happening around the world today, last year, and last century.  I am also aware that instead of compassion, apathy and indifference for your neighbor or mine is common more often than not, So no, not a whining matter just a little humanitarian concern thank you.

Food For The Mind

Lilly Sway