Lilly Sway

I have several ways of teaching my children the right way to get along in the world, usually the lessens are to explain what the consequences are to their choices of behavior or to their actions, and then there is the you jumped in with out asking so learn from it and do not do it again. That works more often than not, I know that sometime life experience is the best teacher,  sometimes it is not.

My daughter who is a 15 year old going on 25 has gotten to wear make up now, for about a year. She earned this by complying with all the rules and completing her chore list, and of course working extra jobs in our neighbor hood for her new makeup expenses. I made sure  that she took proper lessens in the world of make up art, and off she went to indulge the use of her hard earned right, she also added it to her(” I’m in charge list”). She said that she knew all that she had to know on the subject.

I felt differently and as time passed. I began to notice that she would not always wash off the mascara because she was using a waterproof brand that made it difficult to take off, When I asked her why the use of water proof she replied that she can shower after athletics, or that if she got her eyelashes done perfectly she did not have to remove the stuff, I said that she should wash it off everyday no matter what. I also told her that she could be causing damage to her eyelashes.

There ensued the battle of who could say what was right. After asking her several times to remove the makeup every day. We had the same argument. I was compelled to take it off of her (she’s in charge of that) list, and told her she could no longer use the products if she could not use them properly. I then confiscated the mascara with the option of giving it back if she would read up on the dangers of the way she was using the product. My husband said that she went to him about the unfairness of taking away something she worked hard for and had paid for on her own. I said that with the freedom of having the right to wear makeup came also the responsibility of using it properly for the sake of her health, even if it was only the external health as in this case.

I lost that battle, No matter all the warning in the world that I could give her, my daughter slipped right back into her comfort level of misuse, and then it did happen, she woke up yesterday in tears. Her eyelashes were coming off with the mascara, and they were breaking in a jagged way. I was sorry to see her suffer, and did all I could to console her, but she now has to live with the mistakes of having the power to do as she would like,  and she then must endure her loss every day. We have come to terms that although she had acquired the ways and means to get what she wanted, she had lost her objectivity to what was the right choice verses the outcome.

Maybe I was too harsh, by letting go of the subject so easily. I choose my battles with a lot of thought, I thought that my daughter who is very conscientious of what she puts into her body, would wise up about what she wears on her body, I gave her the benefit of the doubt and I feel terrible about the outcome, sometimes it is easy to think that I know what is right and what is wrong.

I have only my children s’ best interest at heat when we are at odds over something or the other. I felt that my daughter would rise to the occasion, and I know that she is a head strong person also. I was wrong to just let her jump in  again, she looks as if she could die when she looks into the mirror. I am in a battle today, One that I know that I will not just give in to, My daughter feels she should be home schooled until her eyelashes grow back!

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way