Lilly Sway

I was sad to hear that Michael Jackson died I believe that his music was simply awesome, in the way that it could transcend through all races. There are many who would choose to remember his private life and the turmoil that cast a dark shadow on him. But I am just upset that we have lost an Icon, a true performer, a master of showmanship. I am concerned that some of us are so willing to ridicule or judge others as quickly as they can bat an eye, with out so much as to knowing all of the facts or circumstances. This man regardless of his personal battles was a person who gave from the heart, to those less fortunate, to those in need. His performances were spectacular to say the least. I am from that era in time and I can remember as a child how his music just made me feel good and I guess that is what I choose to recall about this man.

Food For The Mind

Lilly Sway     www.lillysway.com

It is amazing to me how the old notion that infers (what goes around come around) just really applies to most anything we do. My neighbor was married for the 2nd time since his wife passed away, He had a six month marriage that went south when her family came for Christmas and some of them did not leave, so irreconcilable differences and he was single for 3 months. not very long, Loneliness can be a terrible thing.

Yes I did say not for long didn’t I ? He married an old friend of his from his home town she moved in they renovated their home and were very happy until here lately. When his first wife was in her last stages of cancer he had grown inpatient with the constant care she required I should say indifference to her period once when I was feeding her some chicken broth He on his way out to a party sat by her bed and said it will soon be over patted her on the head and turned to me and said I won’t be home tonight I have met someone and I will be away for the weekend My daughter will come and take over but she has a  dental appointment on Saturday could you please step in for her she will only be gone for about an Hour or two. I said sure I would He said thanks and left.

My friend was a very good person I felt sad that day she was gravely ill, she was not deaf though so when he left  her tears rolled out and then she ate her broth and fell asleep. When she passed away I distanced myself from the morning coffee my husband and I would share with him and I then just waved and avoided the mail box run just so that the frigidness would seep in towards him the indifference to his well being.

He and his wife number three have traveled quite a bit this last year, he use to say that traveling was his least favorite thing to do even when his first Mrs. would ask he would say in front of everyone how much he hated to be asked to do what he hates. Maybe he changed we all do from time to time don’t we? He was diagnosed with cancer a couple of months ago and has been under going chemotherapy for melanoma and while undergoing those test and treatments they found he has inoperable lung cancer so he has 3 months to get his affairs in order.

Having said that, I was over there giving him some chicken broth the other night, his wife needed to do groceries and asked if I could help out I said sure I can,  she was put out because the chemo had left him very weak and the bathroom run for him was out of the question so adult diapers had been out of the question until his health worsened. He sat there with me and said “I heard her say she was fed up with all this mess”. I told him that she was just over wrought. and that he shouldn’t take it to heart  he laughed “I guess I’m having my just desert’s I guess I could have been a hell of a lot more considerate when my first one was in the suffering state like I am now”.

I said that if she were here in the position of insuring that he was being taken care of properly  and had to do what has to be done, she in my opinion would have to take a break and go get groceries and just get some Solis for herself too, He just chuckled. I sat there with him while he slept and remembered all of the back yard bar-b-ques’ the good and the bad ones that our families shared and I truly felt sad for him. The times go by and some are forgotten and some just die off when people pass away.  I choose to remember the good ones more often.

Food For The Mind

Lilly Sway        www.lillysway.com

I have been looking for work on a really fast track here lately, my true calling is being a parent in the true sense of the word. I mean that the job of parenting exceeds all boundaries that a regular job would have. In my opinion the world compensates you in money and the home compensates you with pure satisfaction, and love, but the extenuating circumstances  that just pop up make the real world of work seem simple.

I have been struggling with just taking any job for the need of just being able to cope financially, but the love that I have for my children,s welfare and guidance left to uncaring hands or inept hands is driving me to no sleep, and  no rest. I see what can go wrong with unattended children I have seen neighbors children arrested for all kinds of indulging in the wrong kind of activity.  That doesn’t  mean that the parents or parent is uncaring ,but it does mean that there are extenuating circumstances that the child has experienced that have put the current situation at hand accessible.

I when possible, feed more than four or five teens at dinner most any given meal time kids that know we have dinner together every night just ring the doorbell and ask if we were busy,  because their mom or dad or parents aren’t home yet I try to always say we are happy to have them over, people always seek help to do the right thing, most good people that is. I feel that when a child musters up the nerve to come to a neighbors door and ask to join them , then he or she has done their part by trying to have a decent evening, or a break from all of the overwhelming bad temptations that are out there from day to day.

I have several good job prospects and I even turned one down that paid really well, but the hours were 70 hours a week  10: am until 9:pm no days off. which a mother has to have to ensure that what she is working for, the family, does not have to suffer not only fending for themselves, but also and I truly believe this, that a family person can not possibly have any real connection to reality if they are not around. I kick myself for the(”good”) job that I did not take and yet I know that it was not something  that would be good for our well being as a whole.

I can go crazy just thinking of what I could pay, or what I could help with, or even what I could save. Although no matter what I think I “could” have done with that job.  I absolutely know what I can loose if I make a bad decision, that can affect the very thing I have worked so hard at conserving in the first place. I am still looking every day I scour the classifieds online, in the paper, on a sign, of even on the radio, I have been selling all that is extra from our home, and sold all of the outgrown clothing, I take in sewing and I take in lost souls, but what I really need is the work that can truly help me keep it all together including my sanity

Food For The Mind

Lillys Way   www,lillysway.com