Lilly Sway

I was a bit chilled this morning on the regular school run and soon found myself launched into the regular hustle and bustle of the day. It really was a little bit colder than you would normally find in Texas this time of year, but not a new thing. As I made my way from one school to the other I noticed that there was a long slow traffic jam at the stop where a three way intersection is. I pulled into the parking lot of the church where this intersection was backed up. I cracked the window to hear the horns and the impatience of people to busy and caught up in there routine to notice what was really going on. People were swerving around one another just to come to a complete stop only one car length from where they were to begin with.

I was stuck in that parking lot, as so were many others. I began to asses the situation to find that in a distance I could see that there was a car with two people inside. These two individuals in the front seat of their car were  stopped In the middle of the cross way. By the looks of the car line it did not seem as if it was going to start back up. These two individuals were elderly and had not the strength in my opinion to move the vehicle. I asked if I could help, they said that they had called for a wrecker and thank you anyway. Then they quickly rolled up their window. I tapped on the window again and offered to them a proposition, which was, since I have a car full of teens going to school and I knew that they would be happy to help me push the car out of the cross way would  they allow us to. all the while people honking and yelling obscenities.

The man said hey that would be great and so I ran back to my vehicle to get the 6 teens and soon we had cleared the cross way and traffic started to move along. I was not in a hurry and could see that the older couple were truly embarrassed of the whole situation, as if they could control fate. They said how grateful they were and I finally  was on my way like the rest, but before I left the parking lot the woman from the car patted my back and with a tear in her eye.  I did not mean to close the window so fast before when you first came to our car. We were afraid and thought they would never stop honking and yelling at us. Thank you so much for just being a descent bunch of people. Before, as we pushed the car out of the way to the same parking lot that I had parked in we heard “Hey you, get out of the way,  Move it or loose it,  Get one that works, Thanks a lot you idiots”, and I guess you get the picture. The older woman said that her husband had asked for help to push it out of the way but that people were just to much in a hurry to help.

I waved and got the kids to school just in time for the bell, and when I came back by the stop sign there was the wrecker pulling out of the church with the car, All is well, or is it? I could not seem to dismiss the instant anger that those people so readily expressed and what if it had been them? what would they have done? My stomach felt upset at the fear the woman had in her eyes, for goodness sake what other things had people yelled at them? I am truly upset why can we not give people the benefit of the doubt? Could they really entertain the thought that these people would block the cross way “intentionally”?

I came home and backed my car into the driveway to avoid the north winds direct path to my vehicle motor, or so I thought. I really backed up into my driveway to avoid the angry cold people that may have the unfortunate luck of being stuck behind me on a cold morning if my car was not functioning properly.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way

I have started this year with a positive outlook for  what is to come. I was very fortunate to hear from some old friends whom I thought had all but disappeared from my life. I extended to them a Happy New Year, and found myself laughing, and reminiscing to what seemed to be no end. As we talked on a more serious note I had some sad news, a couple of dear friends are now living in a shelter, and they are really struggling to keep themselves afloat . I shudder at the thought of what they are going through. Truth be told that is the reality of what we ourselves my family and I are about to face we are hanging in there but by a thread. Our situation is not far from that very same scenario. Just when you think that you can overcome anything you are dealt, well no matter what is to come I was very very grateful to see some old friends.

I am a person who all way’s moves forward no matter what, but I am overwhelmed with the thought of being homeless. Our family is doubled up to the point of break, my sister in-law who lost her leg now lives with her two children and her sister who’s husband abandoned her with her three sons for another woman. I have my father in-law who lives with my brother in-law who has reached the age of need and comfort My brother has been staying with me for a month his loss of work and no place to live has left him homeless, He is staying with my other brother now because of the lack of food, in our home, who has had a heart attack from loosing his job as a steel worker, his wife works as a line cook now for a small cafe for minimum wage she is 53 and that is the only thing that she knows how to do, she has to work for the rent It was raised and there is no insurance or health care for any of these family members so my brother without medication is destined for another heart attack.

My younger brother and my sister are in My Fathers home. My brother lost his job as a Construction worker of 18 years to a slow economy and now does odd jobs, which have no real income for the support of his wife and two children, My sister’s husband has lost his job as an oil rigger for 30 years. They still have one son in college with two years to go, He is working two part time fast food jobs and is going to have to quit school, so he can help to feed all who live there. My fathers home is now going to auction for back taxes, a tax lien, where do they go? Oh that’s right a homeless temporary shelter for sleep only, My father is in a wheel chair, he needs help to go to the restroom, he can only sit for a hour at a time  his disability is $603.00 a month calculated for his era of time when what was a good income and living in 1967 This income has become a nightmare for today’s economy. Living on a fixed income that has more pit falls than a piece of oilfield land. My father can not pay the light bill and get his medication, and then there is the fact of will there be any left for food, you can figure out which he chooses every other month when there is no light in his window at night. I am not trying to be negative or not even trying to lay blame on anyone. These are the facts of just my families strife the reality we live everyday day in and day out. We are just in need of a way and means to make our living, to keep our homes, and maybe some dignity.

I know that people are quick to say that today there is so much available for these mishaps to help people in that situation, That is not so true if you live it,  if you experience the kind of ripple that just keeps on coming like a drowning wave of water. Next door my other brother in-law has both his grown children who are moving in with him, His daughters husband is a 10 year car salesman who just lost his job, they have two children and his son a soldier and his wife who need a place to live until he can find work. My son is taking repair work for computers at home to try to find funding for his last two years of college, he knows that there is no way to eat and go to school, his dad my husband is ill and is doing small jobs under contract labor our home is now in a severe state and all the while he is getting worse, We like so many other have no health care, there is no time to wait 8 hours or so and to take no less than five trips to an office that has a waiting list as long as the line just to see if they might qualify you this time. (Oh no, you still have a car that puts you in another bracket). ” We are not able to help you at this time”, is what we were told, “come back if it gets worse and you loose your vehicle then it can not be counted as an asset and you can get help”. We are not in credit card debt, so there is no contingency plan to stimulate our economic state. Nor have we indulged in a lavish out of our means lifestyle so there is not a place waiting to help fix what is wrong with our situation. We are a hard working family who are all suffering the bad economic wave that is across America and elsewhere, sneaking and infiltrating all of the good hard working people who just want to work a decent job for decent wage. We do not want free- bees, or charity, or to have our family disbursed into the system that would help you (IF) you give them your children to shelters and Foster families until you can get on your feet Who demean you in many ways just if you ask for help with food. We like most people, who are good JUST WANT TO WORK for a living. Our living is a decent one and one with a simple plan to raise and educate our children and to let them have a ray of light for their future. Our mission is to leave our children better off than we started in this life, our goal is to be assets to society not a drain on it.  I  wait for the tide to change but it is bleak, I would like to write that we all have a chance and that I have found work. The matter of  the fact is that no there is no work for many of us who are seeking it frantically every day.  I believe  to have a functional country that is healthy and strong, is to afford the people in that country a place to work, an opportunity to realize their potential and to put their abilities to work.

No I say to hand -outs from those who would greet those in need cheerfully (at first), and then sneer at the same people if the tide has still not turned in their favor a year later. those who are still in need. I have a New Year upon me and I am still looking for work 7 months later, My family is still doing anything that they can to work and at this state it is mostly just for food and utilities money is tight and there are many people doing anything for such small amounts that you wonder how they survive at all.

I am but a fragment, a drop of water in an ocean of water, a spec on the abyss, a part of a society of people in today’s world who would just like to  support their household, and feed their families. I today have resided myself to believe that the only way to survive this night mare is to keep trying to see the light, that glimmer of hope that can change what is wrong. I have made my home clean, washed the sidewalk and I am waiting, knowing, searching, believing, and  striving to see the light, for if I do not then we surely have drowned and I just do not know it yet Have faith when none is willing to  stretch out a helping hand, Keep moving forward and if you can help those around you, if you are able to. I just might see you along this dreary road, and I would surely stretch my helping hand to you if I am able to.  I take every breath of this life with love for myself, my family,  and humanity that is how I was taught by my mother a simple but everlasting lesson.

Food For the Mind

Lilly’s Way