Lilly Sway

I have played in the last couple of weeks  more than I have in the last 20 years. The first time I went outside after all the bad weather was to settle an argument between my 11 and 13 year old, they were in the shoving each other around mode and had lost sight of the point of playing. Then I found my self playing a little basketball that lasted all afternoon, to my regret my body was so sore the next day I could not function very well. I have two injured knees due to arthritis that have been giving me a hard time.  I am putting on some weight to keep the pain from becoming unbearable as it does hear lately. I do just feel like the outdoors is where I want to be. I know that it is all of the flowers, and people out doors doing their thing,  you know running, walking the dog, or their spouse.

I am really sad that I cannot run anymore and that my knees are swollen 90% of the time but I still play bad-mitten, or an aggressive four square with the boys. My daughter calls me a beast at sports, I am very competitive in sports or at least I was, having 5 brothers growing up kept me on my toes. My brothers and I were always thinking of things that would eventually get us into trouble we were jumping off the roof when I broke both ankles and wore crutches for what seemed like forever. This is also when I was told I had arthritis. My sisters were the barbie doll girls in my home they never played out side and I never played indoors.

I am playing even though my knees are throbbing. I have wrapped them well and I am ignoring the pain because I know that it will bring me to a screeching halt soon enough. but for now I just want to play. I do the one legged victory (on the better leg) dance to a net ball when my youngest finds his way clear to the hoop, and I laugh of the “not bad for an old lady” comments. I keep my burst of energy until the very last minute that I can possibly be out there. I have chalked the driveway with rainbows, turned on the water hose nozzle to the spray position and soaked the kids, and I am not ashamed to say that I  lost 3 rounds of dodge ball. I have a child with asthma so keeping him fit is always on my mind.

I know that if I get out there with them all we argue less about insignificant things and don’t mind the same drab meal because we are all starving from the exercise, and we are all generally in a good mood. I go into that tired deep sleep so my insomnia is beaten when I have played outdoors all day of course there are my chores that suffer to this crazy old lady trying to be a kid mode, but I know that I will do them all anyway. No matter the reasons to stop playing I only can listen to the inner kid saying “hey is there enough time to play a little out there tonight”.

I have also sat and watched the sunrise and sunset twice this week rushing to get breakfast or dinner done afterward, I feel like a kid (when I am doing the outdoor thing), but I am all to soon reminded that I am not when I struggle to get out of bed and I am limping to the kitchen at midnight to find two Tylenol for the pain. I do keep on trying to let that kid syndrome guide me to the fun, but I know that it will be short lived as my body is pulling that kid back in more often than not, but I know for now I can still hang in there and take full advantage of what my body is willing to allow me to have. So today the kid is out and I will try again to beat my girl at bad-mitten, toss the rings on the post, and play a little b-ball.

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way   www.lillysway .com

Yes I read your comments and the questions that you are asking me but these three are asked most often. “Hey is this you site”,” Is this your real life experience?” and “How can you deal with it all and not give up?”  Well of course it is my site, and yes it is about the life I live, I know that I have written some unbelievable stuff, but yes it is true there are very eventful things in my life as I am sure you all have had things happen at one time or another. Only I help work things out by writing about them to give myself a chance for clear reflection, and for maybe just to give someone, anyone a chance to implement a helpful hint in their lives,  or maybe there is someone who would like to give one back for a day in the life they have.

I manage to drag myself up out of bed hoping and praying that everyday will bring good and wonderful things into my life, I do have wonderful kids! that is one, I have a good husband that is two. I find that these things are always worth getting out of bed for. My life is for the most part in turmoil, I do not want to really face all of the chaos, financial problems or otherwise, but there is nothing that I can do about the tidal waves threatening to drown our  very livelihood. I know that all I can do is my best. I know that my best may not be good enough to keep things going. We have a saying in this house to laugh at the bad times. It is (can we make the monkey dance today?). We know that this means  someone has to put in a quarter to the music box  and someone has to turn the handle to make it play the music, and then someone has to pull the string for the monkey to dance. My husband tells us this little saying when times get tough.  I do not have ‘it all” I am struggling to my wits end, and I feel overwhelmed to the point of break so often here lately. I am only human (yes its true I am).

Even if I did not have my family, I know that things would be the same. I would still have the common sense to drag myself up and out of bed, even if I want to cave in and give up, even if I can not see a good ending to our story I still always hope for one. I have to help my neighbor who’s husband has passed away find her dog who ran away, I have to help the moms that have a job get their kids to school, I have to write to my sister and tell her that I love her and help her find how to struggle with the loss of our other sister, I have to sweep off the acorns from my walkway so I will not trip on them when I am in a rush, I have to wash the clothes before Monday as that is the day that we will have our power shut off , I need to climb my fence and cut the weeds that are rubbing against my car,I have to give my kids the same old meals and make them think that they are lucky to have food at all, I have to prepare for battle, for the tax man, the bank , and the car loan are all threatening again and again.

I am still getting up and getting ready to do my best no matter what, even if there are no quarters for the music box, even if the crank is stuck, even if the string is broken, even if the Monkey is not there to dance. I will still do my best where  ever it is. I will get up and do my best.

Food For the Mind

Lilly’s Way    www.lillysway.com