I must say to those of you who would spam my blog with trash and the like ( I would not dare give the satisfaction of saying the ugly things that come across from you), that you really show the lack of maturity to overwhelm a web site with your spam. Oh I know very well that misery loves company I lived through it once and it was not my fault then, that my fathers horrific travesties made him a monstrous person , nor am I responsible for what ails you so deeply that you would try to hurt the innocent or a stranger which I am to you, just to try to be a nuisance on my web blog. I feel that you must have a hurt so bad that you feel good to hurt others as you most certainly do with your damaging trash that comes across to others (I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU) You need love in my opinion, and if you just like to mess with people well(I FEEL SORRIER FOR YOU) What ever the reason I have no doubt that you who ever you are don’t really care for your fellow man (or woman). As the good people of the world know very well, that there are plenty of you out there, we know the kind you are no self worth, nothing good to strive for, apathy for those in strife and most assuredly just damming to all.
I am sorry for starting my write up today with that but, oh well I will say what is on my mind more often than not. My blog was over run with a spam like no other I try very hard to find time to do what I really like and writing is the best. I am so blessed to have the opportunity just to be able to get it all out and then to be able to share with others is well, just satisfying is what it is. I had a hard time getting my blog cleaned out and well protected, as it it now so that I may write on a regular basis again. Under control and back on track is where I am today.
Running around, dusting, and cleaning and trying to get my home under control is what I have been up to, for there are still bad days when just plain old walking is a chore in itself. I have found that when you do not stay on task things just accumulate and the end of it seems insurmountable, but where there is a will there is a way. I am learning to adjust to taking one day at a time with my chores. I have the wash room sort of under control and my kids bad habits are starting to get back to what they are supposed to be doing and not what they can get away with, for I am in the bed here and there more often. I had such a hard time with pain that I could literally not function enough to keep all the balls in the air at once ( you know the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, the everyday grind).
I have been privy with this battle, given a glimpse into the future of maybe becoming a person who needs, more than they can give. I do not like what is the future for me, if I get side tracked. I fear few things in this world actually there is nothing that personally I would venture to say scares me, but I can not do with out, my personal ability to physically achieve minor tasks on my own. That frankly scares the hell out of me. All things physical are now a challenge everyday. That has made me think I will have to work harder to adapt, to improvise, and finally to learn that I must overcome the obvious and grow stronger I must, because only through perseverance and dedication to achieve the goals I have set my sites on will this happen.
My son did not leave for college as planned there were no funds to get him there and he is taking courses close to home, which will give him qualifying certifications for the type of work he wants to do. We are trying to afford school for next spring. I am sad that he is still here for that just puts him at risk for not finishing school. He says it is not on the back burner, just that it is not the right thing for him to leave us at this time. ( Those words make my heart sink). I know that just an Associates degree is not enough for his line of work and that even a semester off track towards his Bachelors is too much, and circumstances can change a life in a day.
His father ill, and me just now able to really get around as I used to. I know that my sons mind was made up well before time to go to school. I am slower than before, with these arthritis flare ups, but I am stronger everyday(well sort of). This son of mine, and I have spent countless hours on research and reading medical journals and of course every book we could find. Just about anything you can learn about my condition. It has been available on the web for reading and learning and I am grateful for that. I know that a few hundred hours of studying that we have done in between everything else, does not make for the education that a physician has and nor will all the reading in the world put me any where close to a healing for what I have, but I kid you not I am walking none the less.
I am stating that this is what is working for me. I know my body and I read and have read now for at least four years or so, anything new or anything out there for what ails me. Health care is not affordable at this time for our financial state. I refuse to engage the cost at the risk of losing what little dignity I have left, to the red tape and the repetitive invasive questions just to get what passes as help with the county health care. The chair is close by still, but I stand 90% of the time now and I no longer cry from the pain. There are restrictions still. I at the moment am not able to bend the knees past a 90 degree angle with out pain and no complete straight legs in bed( always on a pillow for the arch support under the knees), or if you sleep on your tummy the pillow goes under the chins and ankles to again not let the leg settle full straight out. and I still have trouble with a stair case going up or down. I am not so tired all the time though. I am taking a protein shake, nothing in particular just what the regular GNC store carries. I am taking krill along with the other but my heart palpitation is faster than normal so I take a lesser dose than is recommended and it is only every two days. For you that keep asking me will know, I am just telling you what works for me I have no idea what will work for you. I do not now nor have I considered myself an expert to tell you what to do with your body. I on the other hand will share what is working for me with anyone who cares to know
Food for the Mind
Lilly’s Way.
