We can be helpful, humane,compassionate insightful,willful, and so many other things.

I heard an antidote the other day, it was about two rats each placed in a vat of water in two different rooms and one had the light on, the other was left in the dark. I knew that both rats were going to die as it was started off with how long do you think they would survive if both were in water with no way out. Of course the one rat with the room lit was going to go on longer for he had that light to keep him motivated to keep him thinking that something would change or that maybe he could overcome his situation. I thought this to be perfect for how I can relate that from which my sharing to you, what is transpiring in my world, and why I say to you, Who can we be?

I saw a  few of my neighbors tipping their hats to the traffic yesterday and then again this morning, right in front of their home right in the middle of one of the busiest streets that flow into our neighborhood. I have seen them quite often in the last couple of years,, pan handling on the freeway, at the grocers, and in the medians on big thoroughfares. It seems that this family moved back into the home from which they had been gone from for a very long time. I see them pan handle with what I believe to be either friends or siblings as they always come from the same home walking to and from their now very familiar corners. I have heard all of the complaints and all of the banter on what my neighbors would like to do to have them removed. I wonder who we are to judge and to complain so much about what others do or do not do?

I passed the gentlemen up this morning as I drove my child to a U I L competition at our neighbor hood High school. My son said some thing to me to the effect of, how really bad they must be struggling to be left to the desperate option of having to panhandle for their survival.  I said how do you know that it is not just them trying to have an easy way to meet their obligations. My son said, mom if you live in the United States, and you are having as hard a time as we very well are, then  you know that you  can at the very least try anything that you can think of to survive a rough and hard journey we are only human after all. The basics are truly the core of our lives, water, shelter, and food I wonder why more people do not try to help them, as opposed to getting them thrown out of the neighbor hood. He said that in this great country people from around the world come to try as hard as humanly possible to achieve their goals , so then who are we to judge any persons’ ways or the means by which they can  get to their goal, excluding illegal activity of course, (did I mention to you that my son is twelve?). I asked if he was OK with what the men were doing, and what he thought of how they were going about their business.

He said, that he has seen us all at home try to make ends meet, and most of the time they don’t. I thought about how much our children have seen, and heard, and understand of our own situation and struggle, as I dropped him off. He is right there are many people trying to work two, or three jobs for what ever reason, their motivation, and even their unconventional ways to get there are not for us to judge. I see the reality TV show commercials  that are about teens with children struggling, young men and women trying to stay in the lime light of the night life with sex and drama, the woman who is conceiving child after child to what seems to be no end, the New Jersey, Orange County and the like cat fights. I can not be offended to the fact that this is how they choose to live their life and survive. It is not what I would or could do, but on that same note as their dramas unfold on our televisions and we laugh and sneer, and gossip about what sluts, or users,  or just plain idiots these people are I am sure that as they live their lives that they  laugh all the way to the bank. So who are we to judge?

Who are we to judge? My neighbors more of them than I care to mention thrive on the shows I mentioned, and as they were not blinded enough to what is entertainment, they in the same breath have the nerve to complain about the men in our neighborhood who have now been jeered at, sneered at, and cursed at by fine (”church going”) neighbors. I would rather not see a man woman or child beg, or panhandle for food, or money anywhere, but in this day and time I see it often and more so than not, with the economic struggles that is taring away at us, stripping that ray of light from many,  putting your dreams in the dark, and leaving most of us to deal with our living as if balancing on a high wire, or even trying to keep from drowning in a vat of water to either give up or to drown.  I see that one must do what you can to survive, and then they must endure what they must. Yes who are we to judge what any other person does and how they do it to survive (as my son said, excluding illegal activities)? My families battle and struggle with our economic state is seemingly bleak at the moment and times are and have been really tough, I am thinking of getting a hat from the closet.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way

My writing is a state of reality to what I live, and what I lived, and sometimes in many cases the things I do not like to talk about. Writing about what makes me tick is an abounding consolidation that I deliver to you stemming of the hardships, triumphs and failures that make Lilly (me) who I am to all. I procrastinate mostly for the time to keep my self whole, to give myself a moment, or two to ponder the significance of what I will write about and why I am doing so. I do struggle, as many people do with just always trying to take the good, forget the ugly, and learn from the bad. It is easy to say but very hard to accomplish continually.

Much less on a daily basis. I often speak of how those very negative things have made me, who I am, but I rarely try to see what they have taken away from what I could have been. That would be digression. I lived a life on a line as a young person the things that I knew would keep me safe and the things that would make my life more miserable than my reality. So I learned to procrastinate put hard or challenging things off until I had to deal with them absolutely.

If this sounds as if it is a cop-out, well it is, or was, at the time when I was young it saved me anguish. I usually do not like to deal with just all good things in my life, I feel that would be glutinous. I believe that good is for sharing with those who need to brighten a thing or two in their lives. Like when there are A’s on the report card and I know it because the principal called or e-mailed me a congratulations for my child’s accomplishments. I wait until the report card comes and I make sure that my husband can be surprised or overwhelmed at the news and then he can directly bond that moment with my child into a memory they will both cherish forever.

I love a moment like that, and it lasts so very long on the good things to do list. Which means, that I don’t have to dwell on the fact that my husbands illness is making it harder, and harder for my children to connect with him. I try to never let more than a day go by with out telling everyone in my life that I love them, this is also the warmest and most fulfilling thing that keeps me from procrastination, as it means that I must do my part to ensure that what I am saying is real, and that I must find a way to keep on keeping on. The ugly things past, and present get the back seat to most of what I try to think about, but sometimes it is very much in the drivers seat.

The thing about ugly, is that it does show up and you must deal with it on the spur of the moment, so as to not let it overtake your life. There are things in your life meaning my life that,  you must argue about, or think on, and sometimes engage just to keep it real. I am a person who feels strongly about many things and I do get into arguments about what is right to me. I see the disease (diabetes) my husband is dealing with and it is very sad and hurtful to see what it is doing to him. He is of another time when you did what ever it takes, to stay focused on the problems you can solve, and never, and I mean never stop to deal with what you have no control over.

So I deal with the ugly I get into arguments, say what is on my mind, and try to make my husband deal with now, instead of letting him try to just keep on going as far as he can before he drops out of my life. The anguish I feel is heart wrenching to me. I see and can do nothing to slow him down on the course of choice, and he like most men always seems to think, is that it is under control, and if it was his time to leave us for any reason, we, he, nor I could do a thing to stop it. I get down in the dumps, and want to just sleep away my sadness, as my mother did the years that came after we all left home. My mother slept for ten years, and never wanted to go anywhere, or do anything and sadly all the begging in the world could not budge her from that bed. My mother died at 83 very physically healthy, but very damaged mentally from the hard brutal life she lived.

I remember feeling sad, and crying, for many a time went by the same every time. I came over, she would not leave her bed. I would help her bathe, make her bathe, cook her favorite meal and just sit and try to make her talk to me . She would take her bath, smile and then just go back to bed. I stay out of the bed and spring from it, even on my worst day, just so as to not let the bad overtake me, as it did my mother. There are bad things now as there were back many years ago in my life, but I refuse to give in to the bad. I deal with it. I cooked breakfast yesterday and put off cooking lunch for the way I felt, and could not bring myself to make lunch, I know you must think me crazy but I procrastinated until dinner hour, because my depression was so profound that I just could not engage. I did manage dinner and this morning I made up my mind to interact even if there was this over whelming feeling to just sleep all day.

I deal with a lot from day to day and sometime even you could say most of the time. I can bring myself to realize the short term bad can hurt you forever, if you let it. So even though I procrastinate I do manage to shake it off, and then just do what I can to keep the stride as hard as it seems to just keep in step with my reality.

I have been putting off writing for the very reason, that what I feel today is a heavy mixture of what was, and what is, and what will be. I try to look on the bright side, but there is not always that silver lining to look forward to. I procrastinate yes I confess I do, but today as any other I will do my best to overcome it.

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way   www.lillysway.com

I do not want to taint the time ahead with what was wrong with the past. I had a beautiful Christmas with family, and friends. That just made for a great week. My outlook is always boundless with leaps toward the greatness of the events to come. I look at each day as a new chance in my life, one that can give me a better understanding towards what must be endeared, and endured. I recall small rituals around our home that have become tradition in my home.

I wash all of the laundry (I am so very grateful to have our plumbing  back) as my mother did, clean the house spotless, try to fill the fridge, try to pay all the bills off early (well we do try), so ( according to my mothers way) was so that we would not be playing catch-up all year. I think it was more of a superstition than a tradition, but we were always right on track during the holidays cleaning, washing, ironing, and the like to make it a good start for when the new year rang in. We would stay up and give each other a hug, and kiss, and wish everyone peace in their lives for the coming year.

I do the same now as l did then. These years my children have the task well managed as these times are tradition and they are excited to carry the torch so to speak. My oldest carried in groceries to fill the fridge the boys changed out linen and my daughter and I laundered the last of what we deemed all of what we “needed” to wash. I have been in a good mood today and I can see that my children love to be in charge of what they now think are important traditions.

Although when they were small it was not so much a tradition it was just a chore. I love this time of year and aside the odd warm weather, it is like most years except I feel a great importance to the fact of our still all being together, I know things will change as they must, for our lives to be what they must be. I am though feeling a selfish overwhelming gladness that for now they are as they are. Guilty? No, not at all. Time goes very fast and so come on new year I am ready for you.

I wish you all a blessed New Year, and wish for you all peace in your lives.

Food For The Mind,

Lilly’s Way

We three were the only ones that sat there this morning the twelve year old the fourteen year old and myself. I was hoping the rest would join in on the fun, but my husband was going in for minor day surgery and needed the rest for the grueling day ahead and my daughter had put so much effort into the Christmas decor around the house she found all of the handmade gifts that I had acquired through the years and placed them here and there, so she was exhausted. My oldest still at home was just getting in from a network job and was driving my husband to his surgery so he popped a shower and hit the bed.

“I wonder why this only can happen about every 4 hundred years plus”, my twelve year old son said. I said I know that we can read all about it later and that I was sure we could find the answer, but we are privileged to have the experience now. He sat there with his blanket ( he has the flu right now ) and his older brother told him to cover up because the flu could become worse with the morning dew. I was sitting there staring at the sky looking for the moon it had disappeared again behind the briskly moving clouds a huh, there it was again a hazy reddish glow and so beautiful it was.

We talked about so many things well into the morning hours and learned a lot of the things we were wondering about. I learned that both my boys want to be scientists and that they journal on occasion. I really did not know that, I wonder why not?  I learned that my fourteen year old feels as if there are too many rules that have not “changed with the times ” as he put it. I wondered which rules he was referring to specifically, but I did not want to address that  issue at this time. My twelve year old said Mom I love the way you are, and I have been sitting here wondering how strong you always are, because anything that come along you just deal with it, and never seem to not know what we have to do next. “So Mom” he said I wonder how can I get to be that strong”? I wonder how you got to be my Mother the one who just can deal with me being sick all the time, and cook everything I love, and just say well lets just try another time when things can go so wrong most of the time. He was referring to our plumbing problems we, a week ago, woke up to a flood in the house and the restrooms were not functional for 5 days.

We washed our face at MC Donald’s for the last days of school because  they had finals and the restrooms were always clean there, so we had not to wonder where we would go for the morning breakfast, and a clean rest room. I wonder what more could you ask for? I made arrangements for bathing with my sister in law and we made do with the laundry as best as we could(6 people makes for a quick accumulation of dirty laundry). I wonder how my mother dealt with it all. (we were 10) I really wonder how she always managed to be so nice, and good to us, and mostly I wonder how I became so lucky as to have these wonderful kids. We had to get up extra early for school study late and we made for a line at my sister in laws for the baths, and well the water heater did not keep up. I wonder if she is as glad to have our plumbing back in order as I am?

As we sat and discussed the futures of my children, and the seriousness of their fathers illness we laughed, and cried at most of the things that are all pent up in someone when they are stressed to their limits, but we gave each other a reinforced faith that all things will pass, the good, and the bad, and that we must strive for the things that are most important to our lives.  I wonder when my children became so grown up to be worried about the seriousness of the situations that have engulfed our family here of late. These are normal problems at best for many, but when things happen that are unexpected and expensive the impact can be overwhelming to a family and the impact can harshly affect or destabilize a home these days and times.

I wondered as we picked up our chairs and made our way to our beds if they (my boys) really felt reassured and hopeful towards their future. Even when they know so much is hanging by a thread. I know that I am very grateful for these small glimpses of the future plans these boys are setting for themselves. How great it is to have this particular time this morning with them. The lunar eclipse was the reason we gathered this early in the morning and it was great to be part of this Historic event, but we stayed out there so long for the laughs, and closeness, the melding of minds, and souls destined to be infected with love.

I laughed at knock knock jokes as if it was the first time I had ever heard them, my older child just as witty as can be performed a piece from his play that he performed at school last week, he add-lived and we could not stop laughing, until my neighbor came out to see what was going on. I wonder if he thought we were crazy. I found out that there are many reasons to always look on the bright side two of those reasons are probably snoring by now, because I did wake them up to sweep the walk way after all.

Well If you are wondering that I must be crazy to think the way I do, well I guess that’s fine with me. I would think though, that you might be wondering what happy things are in your life right now, or if you are missing out, because you are too busy being sad or worried about life.

Food For the Mind

Lilly’s Way

I love an argument, but I live for conversation that is real, and interaction. I adore people in general as we are a gift (you and I) one that expires soon enough, so why is it that hurt and hate and the like run rampant ask yourself do I really need to be mean, or ugly to this person, one I do not even know? Yes, ask that of yourself and then if you must be. well then I will keep on deleting you and those things from my blog thank you very much.

I find that people in general are not ugly. I know that in this day time, we live with everything on the fast track people just want to ( in my opinion) get along in their lives uninhabited, by other people. There are so many of the good things that people could say to each other, but a derogatory critique is what I usually hear like ( her dress is too short, he just cut me off in line, or why can’t the so and so just use their turn signal they are not the only ones on the road you know!) These are just the ones I have been privy to in just any where I go and I must admit the person in the short dress was to short, but she looked great in it so that could have been the comment by the lady next to me talking to her husband who was by the way in great appreciation of the young lady in the dress. Non the less. This young lady took nothing from the woman who commented the bad remark, as she herself with 3 children by her side looked really great.

I have to be real with you I do wear rose colored glasses some of the time especially when I am most challenged to do so. I see past the ugly or mean and I just say they must be having a bad day, or I say well that must be something that really intimidates them in a hurtful way that they feel as if they can not react any other way. I promise you that is not the case. I have experienced that all people can be nice and good if you can accept who they are. ( providing that we are not talking about the local bad guy the ones who live for the hurt and deceit he or she can inflict on humanity).

I myself was a child who on one sunny afternoon in the heat of August in 1968 got a glimpse of a father I know to be nothing but mean or hurtful, become the savior to a woman who came to our home in need of help. She was the woman I had seen many times before who did my mothers hair in our home. My mother’s skin was alabaster and she had become allergic to the sun. She could no longer go out doors in the summer time as the sun would have such an allergic reaction to her skin that she would break out in large hives and she would be in agony from the itching for weeks,  so in August the heat was too much for her to venture out completely covered up.

Well back to what transpired this day. This lady the hair dresser, well she came to our gate and asked for help, my sisters and I were making lemonade as we had every weekend in the summer for the men who brought out the sales fliers once a month, this was how you knew who had a sale at what store. The caged truck and trailer would bring out about 15 or so men, the indigent, the homeless, the local drunk men who did not have regular jobs, these men would be dropped off in most of the neighborhoods that I knew of, and disburse these store fliers to all the homes, or just tuck them in the fence line. Our corner is where they would gather and wait to be picked up after their fliers were all gone.

The days were long for them I always thought so anyway, we usually saw them dropped off at breakfast, and come suppertime they would start to gather for the ride home. My mother being the good soul that she was to all, had us make about five pitchers of lemonade on those days one for us and four for them we were jealous at times as there was never any lemonade left. we squeezed a whole sack of lemons on those Saturdays and all the work was gone in a flash. When we objected to the work my mother would say to us “The way to being a good person is to never judge anyone, always count your blessings, be happy to have what you need,  and always share what you have, she would tell us that only through the act of true giving is there receiving in life”.

We were already at the picnic table and the familiar faces of the cash way carriers were starting to gather one by one at our gate.The woman saw us and asked us to get our mom, she said that she was loosing her baby, we ran inside, not my mother nor my father ever drove (there was as incident I will share at a later date). anyway with no car the real tragedy was that most people were gone on a Saturday to shop or what ever people do and even though some of these men knew how to drive and offered we had no car. Town was thirty minutes by bus and 20 minutes by car, and the bus had already passed (there were no local hospitals as there are now just at almost every exit). My dad and mom saw the truck come for the men and my dad got in the front of the truck to stop him then he carried the lady to the truck jumped in the front seat with her in his arms and they left. All of the men who were still gathering saw the truck and were upset at their being left there to fend for themselves.

My mother being who she was, said that the man would come back but that we should make do until they did. She made a barbecue of burgers for the men since it was the twilight hour and the harsh sun was gone. The men insisted on cleaning and cutting the shrubbery,  and cutting the lawn for their meal, and they did, as the evening progressed some caught the bus, those who had money, and the others just waited for the truck to come back as it did about 4 hours later. Turned out the truck driver and my father got the lady to the hospital just in time for them to save her and the baby, and my father would not let the driver leave since there were no buses past 8pm to our neighborhood on Saturday, so they waited until she was out of danger. This lady’s husband got to our home at about 7:30 that evening he knew my mothers appointment was always the last of the day, because her hair was so long it was past her hips, so he drove straight to the hospital after my mom told him what had transpired.

The cash way men jumped in the truck and trailer as they had so many a time before but not before telling my mother that she was truly an angel of mercy. One man said that circumstance had put him where he was at this stage in his life and that the kindness of strangers was what made him struggle to get his life back on track. The child was born a month later, and the couple came to show off the child to my parents, my mother got her hair done every month at no cost to her for as long as I can remember. The lady said that she would never ever be able to repay my dad for his quick thinking in response to her plight.

She called my dad a hero and gave me a different view of my father one I do not think I could have seen on my own. Many people came out that summers end just to say that he was a good guy and that there were still heroes in the world. I watched it all, it was true my father did help with out a thought for himself, and he did most certainly help someone in dire straights. I could not understand how he the devilish man we knew him to be could be so humane at the same time, I then realized that there must be good in him somewhere regardless of who he was to us, as time went past me and I grew less and less afraid of my father I decided to be a bit more tolerant of what he was, for the sake of finding out why he was this mean person he had been to us,  and I did find that answer.

This is for another time to tell. It is for, when you can understand what a person has inside that makes him or her who they are. Then you will know why they do what they do.

Food For The Mind,

For Alice the best hair dresser I ever knew.

Lilly’s Way

Oh what a great time we are preparing for, the house is ready to receive both young, and old. The dishes washed, the inviting table, and of course the menu planned. I have not really given much thought to ever sending out an invitation in about15 years or so they just all come. I will cook for as many or as few who care to just grace this home with their presence. I am trying to share old recipe’s with the younger women in the family but I think that I still have a few good years of being able to manage what I have been doing so long, because it is something I enjoy tremendously. I am pacing myself and preparing the bread for dressing ahead of time. I want to be able to have a good time as these days are few and far between. There are to date four family members no longer with us. I will keep moving forward and laugh at those funny things they used to say or tears will flow when I think of what they would have said, but either way this is a time for closeness, and happiness, for it will be gone as soon as it comes and although there will be belly aches, and spills, and over indulgences the like, it will be a fabulous, wonderful time.

I will wash the dishes smiling and clean up all that is messed up with love and memories as I have for so long for this is the greatest time of all time to share family and food.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way

For Mom, and Rose I will love you always.

I am sorry for starting my  write up today with that but, oh well I will say what is on my mind more often than not. My blog was over run with a spam like no other I try very hard to find time to do what I really like and writing is the best. I am so blessed to have the opportunity just to be able to get it all out and then to be able to share with others is well, just satisfying is what it is. I had a hard time getting my blog cleaned out and well protected, as it it now so that I may write on a regular basis again. Under control and back on track is where I am today.

Running around, dusting, and cleaning and trying to get my home under control is what I have been up to, for there are still bad days when just plain old walking is a chore in itself. I have found that when you do not stay on task things just accumulate and the end of it seems insurmountable, but where there is a will there is a way.  I am learning to adjust to taking one day at a time with my chores. I have the wash room sort of under control and my kids bad habits are starting to get back to what they are supposed to be doing and not what they can get away with, for I am in the bed here and there more often. I had such a hard time with pain that I could literally not function enough to keep all the balls in the air at once ( you know the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, the everyday grind).

I have been privy with this battle, given a glimpse into the future of maybe becoming a person who needs, more than they can give. I do not like what is the future for me, if I get side tracked. I fear few things in this world actually there is nothing that personally I would venture to say scares me, but I can not do with out, my personal ability to physically achieve minor tasks on my own. That frankly scares the hell out of me. All things physical are now a challenge everyday. That has made me think I will have to work harder to adapt, to improvise, and finally to learn that I must overcome the obvious and grow stronger I must, because only through perseverance and dedication to achieve the goals I have set my sites on will this happen.

My son did not leave for college as planned there were no funds to get him there and he is taking courses close to home, which will give him qualifying certifications for the type of work he wants to do. We are trying to afford school for next spring. I am sad that he is still here for that just puts him at risk for not finishing school. He says it is not on the back burner, just that it is not the right thing for him to leave us at this time. ( Those words make my heart sink). I know that just an Associates degree is not enough for his line of work and that even a semester off track towards his Bachelors is too much, and circumstances  can change a life in a day.

His father ill, and me just now able to really get around as I used to. I know that my sons mind was made up well before time to go to school. I am slower than before, with these arthritis flare ups, but I am stronger everyday(well sort of). This son of mine, and I have spent countless hours on research and reading medical journals and of course every book we could find. Just about anything you can learn about my condition. It has been available on the web for reading and learning and I am grateful for that. I know that a few hundred hours of studying that we have done in between everything else, does not make for the education that a physician has and nor will all the reading in the world put me any where close to a healing for what I have, but I kid you not I am walking none the less.

I am stating that this is what is working for me. I know my body and I read and have read now for at least four years or so, anything new or anything out there for what ails me. Health care is not affordable at this time for our financial state. I refuse to engage the cost at the risk of losing what little dignity I have left, to the red tape and the repetitive invasive questions just to get what passes as help with the county health care. The chair is close by still, but I stand 90% of the time now and I no longer cry from the pain. There are restrictions still.  I at the moment am not able to bend the knees past a 90 degree angle with out pain and no complete straight legs in bed( always on a pillow for the arch support under the knees), or if you sleep on your tummy the pillow goes under the chins and ankles to again not let the leg settle full straight out. and I still have trouble with a stair case going up or down. I am not so tired all the time though. I am taking a protein shake, nothing in particular just what the regular GNC store carries. I am taking krill  along with the other but my heart palpitation is faster than normal so I take a lesser dose than is recommended and it is only every two days. For you that keep asking me will know, I am just telling you what works for me I have no idea what will work for you. I do not now nor have I considered myself an expert to tell you what to do with your body. I on the other hand will share what is working for me with anyone who cares to know

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way.

Our work is almost next to nothing and yet the bills keep coming in (the basics) although the mortgage, light, gas, water, and  phone are the most important, we still have to be legal with car insurance, home insurance, not to mention food and then there is gas for the car that is a must to seek work in the first place. This is sometimes just a vicious unrelenting task just to juggle the budget. I bought dinner today burgers for they were fantastic two for one and I could feed us cheaper that way than  to try to complete a grocers run and gather all I needed and had run out of to have a decent meal.

This may be complaining to some of you, but really I feel as if we are in a frenzy and I can not for the life of me see the end. I did not go grocery shopping, to trade that expense for car tags and inspection on my vehicle, in order to keep it current, and legal and of course to keep the wheels going round and round. We lost our business this month and were foreclosed on and there are the court fees, lawyer fees, and the debt now in litigation for money owed. I just keep moving forward.  I dream of an end . There are no tears, no resolve, no blame to any one just the facts that money is hard to come by.

Plain and simple the fact is that to get steady work in the economy of today is next to impossible. The time is still passing the bills keep coming and the wheels keep going round and round. Regardless of whether you can keep up or not. I am happy to still be in the fight and everyday I try to do my best (although it seems futile at times,the struggle is very very necessary). The struggle has to transpire, the challenges must be met,  and the fight fought every inch of the way, with vigor, commitment, and unwavering valor. My children like your children, and everyone Else’s children are the future of our world of today. They will be leaders of our tomorrows who must be educated and considered everyday.

Why? What am I talking about? I am talking about not giving in to things that knock the average person down to the ground. If our political arena is festering a fight that serves only a few, then we must use our sovereign right to have equal opportunity and we, you and I and our neighbors should try to conserve and help any way possible for the sake of the future of our country. I hear bigotry, blame, I see fingers pointing, I do not see earnest realization to a problem that started much, much,  much sooner than just two years ago.

My family needs work period. My family, and my neighbors family, and my brothers family, and the people on the corner just want to help by working hard. There is no time for rose colored glasses. I hear the recession is over ( yeah right) tell that to the people who are loosing their homes in record numbers over and over again. The recession is no more over than my refrigerator is full. I try to not be pessimistic, but the fact is that for plenty of people the reality is that they will possibly be the next to be homeless.

We have not a job for tomorrow, but we will rise and keep seeking until we find one, We have lost our business, but not our will to succeed. We have our faith challenged everyday, but we will not cave in and give up. We will keep moving forward even if every one tells us that there is nothing for us. I am a realist and the thing that is most evident to me is that the wheels keep on going round and round no matter who is on for the ride, so I choose today and I know that I will choose the same tomorrow to get on the heartbreaking ever relentless struggle no matter what comes or goes.

I feel overwhelmed at the loss of what our business could have been, but I will not let that be the end of what we can be.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way  www.lillysway.com

If I do not post your comment it is because I go to every website, or e-mail, or rs feed, on every comment to see who is interested in what I write and frankly there are places that are full of spam, or will not load, or do not even exist.

I do not post some comments because they are very negative or malicious and if that is what you want to share more power to you , but do it on your own site.

I use Word Press and my son and I chose the color scheme, the flow, and the adds.

I do write as often as I can and yes this is my life, and frankly were are just like you or any one else in this world, My life is as normal and relative to most anyone I know, but I just happen to write about it. I have so many stories of my life, so clearly stated because I am blessed to have a photographic memory for incidents that bring my emotions to stir and share.

I am in love with the sky and my favorite color (if you do not know by now) is Blue.

My favorite perfume is Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion (why would anyone want to ask that)

I would have to say that I listen to classic rock more than any other music, but I love NPR radio every morning and leave the classical music on until Walton and Johnson are off the radio, for they could ruin anyone’s day. Colonel St. James rocks. That is just how I feel and well that is that.

I do twit but not often I am still undecided about it, I do not face book.

I have 3 thousand stories that I have counted, and 28 note books with stories that I have not counted. They were all written through out my life but some I have not been able to share yet. Some are sad, and bad, and some are the most dear to me so the jury is out as to what I will share next. It is the day in a life past and present that makes me who I am

I love people, and dancing, and music, and the trees most of all the trees.

Give me winter summer and fall and the anticipation of the summer heat I can live with.

I am very grateful to have this computer it makes my life so wonderful because I get to share with you and I can read what you have to say.

Life is short so I am trying to get all I can out of it

Lilly’s Way.  www.lillysway.com        lillysway@gmail.com

Humanity should be blind and just, as I have taught her and as I believe. There are no colors, statures of economics, or religions when it comes to accepting a human being for what they bring to the world. At least that is what I was taught by my mother. I have taught all of my children never to ever judge a person by anything presented to them from the outside, only listen to what comes out from the inside and then they would know who is who, and what is what about a person.

My sweet darling beautiful daughter was born to two complex individuals, whose strong  characters have produced with out a doubt a compassionate, loving, confident, strong willed, self assured, no nonsense, baby girl. I knew and could foresee the trouble we would have as clearly as the day that I live with her right now. My daughter is so sure that what she has planned out in her life from day to day and even to her old age will transpire as sure as when she speaks of the days to come as if there is no possible way that she could fail or go wrong even when it is apparent that things have gone wrong. She is joyous to the day and to everyone never with out a smile.

Admirable or not it is a strength you may or may not agree with.  You know the strength that some of us are just born with, well she is that person. I have never worried of outside influence where ever she was concerned. She always just absorbed the good, ignored the bad and helped those she could along the way, but on that note, she has always jumped in both feet first with out even a glance towards what could, or might be at the end of the jump. When she was two years old on the first day of swimming ever for her, she jumped in the pool with her life vest on and then when she saw her 8 year old brother jump in without a vest on she immediately wanted hers off. I said when you learn how to swim you may take it off or you may let me take it off and I will take you any where in the pool.

My daughter conceded to that I could take her in with out it(but only long enough for me to take the vest off, then she ran off to  jump into the deep side. When I reached her she was swimming for the edge  she said I can swim mommy I don’t need that thing on me. I can swim. That was only the beginning, she was told that snacks were for after meals at three AM one morning I woke up to see her sitting at the table finishing a box of Oreos  she was ill, I was angry at who gave her the cookies(either my son, or my husband), when I asked who gave them to her she said “I got them mommy’. I looked in the pantry I said there is no way you could have gotten them, they were in the top shelf behind the cereal, my pantry requires me a stool to reach that far back, or that high she just went up to the pantry climbed each shelf as if it were no task at all. She always can get what she wants from where ever she wants to she said to me.

I knew that it would take brain not brawn to cope with this child, who would not flinch to a scolding then not even stop when she thought she was right about what she decided she wanted at what ever the cost. I held my breath when I saw her climb that food pantry cabinet it was a wonder to me how she could have gotten the idea that she could just get up there. I took her Bobo away that evening It was a stuffed lamb that she would bring the house down for, if it was bed time and he was nowhere to be found.  I said she could have it back when she promises to never ever climb again.

She said if I left the cookies where she could reach them, then she would not  have to go way up there for them. I took Bobo to bed with me, she cried for three  hours then came in to my bedroom promised to never climb the pantry again. My daughter did not scream or have  a fit she just cried, and cried in a quiet muffled crying way.  When she stopped and came into my bedroom she said to me that she decided that Bobo was better than Oreos. I held my word gave Bobo back to her hoping she to would keep her promise and not climb. This was the easy, I thought she is a thinker, she will be able to solve her own problems when she grew older (well that’s what I thought anyway). As she grew she climbed the roof, a tree where no one could reach her for hours never you mind her not asking for a thing ever, not even how to tie her shoes, she watched Barny  on her brothers tape and rewound it until she could do it herself. Potty training was a breeze. When she got ill not even a whimper towards taking the medicine.

I am reminded that she was hospitalized when she was 4 she had a sinus infection, that came from a filled pocket at the sinus cavity due to a deviated septum, she ran 106 temperature and went into convulsions, They saved my daughter at the Texas Children s Hospital. I sat with her every day and night that she was there. I saw her take shot after shot and blood test after blood test with no objection. I was ready to burst into tears after the second day of that grueling regimen, but she said that the nurse told her that there was a German (the nurse said germ) inside of her and they needed to find it so that she could get well and go home. when they found that she was harboring a face full of toxic mucus due to the deviated septum she was then given the proper antibiotics and we went home after a scary week and a half.

When we got home she said I hope to never go back there mommy because I never saw the German that they took out of me, but I was so tired of the way they looked for him. I am grateful that they were able to get her well so fast. I learned from her everyday we were there her calmness she smiled at everyone even though they were coming for blood, she wanted to play in the childcare’s play room even though she did not have the strength to get out of bed, she was anxious to see her desert when the meal brought jello and not pudding but ate what ever they brought. But I learned that children are the most fearless, optimistic, and loving people on this earth. My child knew at that age nothing of the existence of prejudice, hate, intentional malice, or contempt. She was an innocent. Which brings me to what has changed her.

I stood in line at the grocers with my daughter today as we do after school on many occasion in this day in time, to buy and use our coupons for the sale item to expensive to buy with out a coupon. The line was long and the wait was with people in a hurry to get what they needed and get out of the store. Today was not that day the line had not moved in about 2 minutes an eternity if you are in a hurry and even more so in today’s world of instant everything.The hold up in our line was a couple of people paying for their groceries with pennies, nickels, and dimes. We were in a store close to her school and there were many of her peers getting drinks and snacks after practice or what ever teens buy. The bad thing started when whispers and snarls started a bombardment of comments towards the teen and her mother that were in old worn out clothes and paying with coin for there items the amount was $42.00  dollars. They were counting as fast as they could but the fact is that it was time consuming. We all have to do what we must to survive this economic cloud of damnation for those who live on the edge of poverty that line to which some are oblivious.

The line was getting agitated and people were starting to make personal comments that I will not repeat for just the sake of not stooping to those levels of Mal educated words used to injure others(frankly the things people say in the world of today sear right to the core of a person). The final draw that brought my daughter to yell out “hey you guys please they are trying their best here”(they really were the teen in tears the mother frantically counting and the cashier red as an apple). I turner just in time to see her angry really angry she said I go to school with you and oh my God where do you get off, I mean being in a bad way or needing an extra moment can’t and should not cost a person their dignity.

The line got quiet, but what transpired next were insults then directed toward us, my daughter and I. The lady and her daughter were out of the store soon enough but the comments and accounting of their apparent struggle was left to uncaring, inbred(no one and I mean no one should ever be subject to being told and I quote”you people should crawl in a whole and die), ignorant malicious people who were angry to have waited 3 and a half minutes to get their instant service! The manager then came over to my daughter not any one else and asked “is there a problem here mam”?Before she could say a word the manager continued and asked us to check out at another register so that things could go faster for the other people in line. She started to move our things into the basket we had just unloaded on to the counter.

I just said no thanks we would not be in need of those items after all and my girl and I left. My daughter asked me why we were leaving when the people there were clearly the problem. I told my daughter that there are many many people like those who partook in that deplorable display and that they can not see clearly like she can their vision is clouded, misconstrued, and just plane wrong, they have prejudice, hate, and self importance ahead of understanding, compassion, and humanity.

My daughter was still angry when we got to the car “she said mom you know that that manager lady saw everything not just my outburst” she was angry with her peers who she thought were good people and had joined in at the chastising of those who did not have what ever it is they think was important. I said let that be a lesson to you doll, that the wright thing to say or do is not always the most popular thing to do or say. I left and did with out my groceries today not out of fear or but out of protest to the apparent. I did not mind so much leaving with out what I had originally gone to the store for because, I was leaving with far more than I could have imagined. I feel that I have the honor of having produced a compassionate humane individual with out even trying. There is hate and prejudice on the television in the news, and if you are not to busy with your life you could just pretend that it does not affect you, but it does. To be humane is to love your fellow man (or woman) with out regard to whether they are of any different at all, that should and must include religion, race color or creed and it most certainly includes indigent or wealthy.

My daughter says that she will be picked on and laughed at for a couple of days and that not all of those who were there will ever be her friends again. She said that she was heart broken to see what some of the people she called friends could say to her and that lady with out so much as a thought. I said that maybe they will cross a path one day and be on the other side of those hurtful comments,  but that to travel a road with good company is always better than to hang around with bad company.

Food For the Mind

Lilly’s Way               www.lillysway. com