Lilly Sway

I must say to those of you who would spam my blog with trash and the like ( I would not dare give the satisfaction of saying the ugly things that come across from you), that you really show the lack of maturity to overwhelm a web site with your spam. Oh I know very well that misery loves company I lived through it once and it was not my fault then, that my fathers horrific travesties made him a monstrous person , nor am I responsible for what ails you so deeply that you would try to hurt the innocent or a stranger which I am to you, just to try to be a nuisance on my web blog. I feel that you must have a hurt so bad that you feel good to hurt others as you most certainly do with your damaging trash that comes across to others (I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU) You need love in my opinion, and if you just like to mess with people well(I FEEL SORRIER FOR YOU) What ever the reason I have no doubt that you who ever you are don’t really care for your fellow man (or woman). As the good people of the world know very well, that there are plenty of you out there, we know the kind you are no self worth, nothing good to strive for, apathy for those in strife and most assuredly just damming to all.

I am sorry for starting my  write up today with that but, oh well I will say what is on my mind more often than not. My blog was over run with a spam like no other I try very hard to find time to do what I really like and writing is the best. I am so blessed to have the opportunity just to be able to get it all out and then to be able to share with others is well, just satisfying is what it is. I had a hard time getting my blog cleaned out and well protected, as it it now so that I may write on a regular basis again. Under control and back on track is where I am today.

Running around, dusting, and cleaning and trying to get my home under control is what I have been up to, for there are still bad days when just plain old walking is a chore in itself. I have found that when you do not stay on task things just accumulate and the end of it seems insurmountable, but where there is a will there is a way.  I am learning to adjust to taking one day at a time with my chores. I have the wash room sort of under control and my kids bad habits are starting to get back to what they are supposed to be doing and not what they can get away with, for I am in the bed here and there more often. I had such a hard time with pain that I could literally not function enough to keep all the balls in the air at once ( you know the chores, the cooking, the cleaning, the everyday grind).

I have been privy with this battle, given a glimpse into the future of maybe becoming a person who needs, more than they can give. I do not like what is the future for me, if I get side tracked. I fear few things in this world actually there is nothing that personally I would venture to say scares me, but I can not do with out, my personal ability to physically achieve minor tasks on my own. That frankly scares the hell out of me. All things physical are now a challenge everyday. That has made me think I will have to work harder to adapt, to improvise, and finally to learn that I must overcome the obvious and grow stronger I must, because only through perseverance and dedication to achieve the goals I have set my sites on will this happen.

My son did not leave for college as planned there were no funds to get him there and he is taking courses close to home, which will give him qualifying certifications for the type of work he wants to do. We are trying to afford school for next spring. I am sad that he is still here for that just puts him at risk for not finishing school. He says it is not on the back burner, just that it is not the right thing for him to leave us at this time. ( Those words make my heart sink). I know that just an Associates degree is not enough for his line of work and that even a semester off track towards his Bachelors is too much, and circumstances  can change a life in a day.

His father ill, and me just now able to really get around as I used to. I know that my sons mind was made up well before time to go to school. I am slower than before, with these arthritis flare ups, but I am stronger everyday(well sort of). This son of mine, and I have spent countless hours on research and reading medical journals and of course every book we could find. Just about anything you can learn about my condition. It has been available on the web for reading and learning and I am grateful for that. I know that a few hundred hours of studying that we have done in between everything else, does not make for the education that a physician has and nor will all the reading in the world put me any where close to a healing for what I have, but I kid you not I am walking none the less.

I am stating that this is what is working for me. I know my body and I read and have read now for at least four years or so, anything new or anything out there for what ails me. Health care is not affordable at this time for our financial state. I refuse to engage the cost at the risk of losing what little dignity I have left, to the red tape and the repetitive invasive questions just to get what passes as help with the county health care. The chair is close by still, but I stand 90% of the time now and I no longer cry from the pain. There are restrictions still.  I at the moment am not able to bend the knees past a 90 degree angle with out pain and no complete straight legs in bed( always on a pillow for the arch support under the knees), or if you sleep on your tummy the pillow goes under the chins and ankles to again not let the leg settle full straight out. and I still have trouble with a stair case going up or down. I am not so tired all the time though. I am taking a protein shake, nothing in particular just what the regular GNC store carries. I am taking krill  along with the other but my heart palpitation is faster than normal so I take a lesser dose than is recommended and it is only every two days. For you that keep asking me will know, I am just telling you what works for me I have no idea what will work for you. I do not now nor have I considered myself an expert to tell you what to do with your body. I on the other hand will share what is working for me with anyone who cares to know

Food for the Mind

Lilly’s Way.

We are at a snails pace seeking work to fulfill our obligations and relieve the debts.

Our work is almost next to nothing and yet the bills keep coming in (the basics) although the mortgage, light, gas, water, and  phone are the most important, we still have to be legal with car insurance, home insurance, not to mention food and then there is gas for the car that is a must to seek work in the first place. This is sometimes just a vicious unrelenting task just to juggle the budget. I bought dinner today burgers for they were fantastic two for one and I could feed us cheaper that way than  to try to complete a grocers run and gather all I needed and had run out of to have a decent meal.

This may be complaining to some of you, but really I feel as if we are in a frenzy and I can not for the life of me see the end. I did not go grocery shopping, to trade that expense for car tags and inspection on my vehicle, in order to keep it current, and legal and of course to keep the wheels going round and round. We lost our business this month and were foreclosed on and there are the court fees, lawyer fees, and the debt now in litigation for money owed. I just keep moving forward.  I dream of an end . There are no tears, no resolve, no blame to any one just the facts that money is hard to come by.

Plain and simple the fact is that to get steady work in the economy of today is next to impossible. The time is still passing the bills keep coming and the wheels keep going round and round. Regardless of whether you can keep up or not. I am happy to still be in the fight and everyday I try to do my best (although it seems futile at times,the struggle is very very necessary). The struggle has to transpire, the challenges must be met,  and the fight fought every inch of the way, with vigor, commitment, and unwavering valor. My children like your children, and everyone Else’s children are the future of our world of today. They will be leaders of our tomorrows who must be educated and considered everyday.

Why? What am I talking about? I am talking about not giving in to things that knock the average person down to the ground. If our political arena is festering a fight that serves only a few, then we must use our sovereign right to have equal opportunity and we, you and I and our neighbors should try to conserve and help any way possible for the sake of the future of our country. I hear bigotry, blame, I see fingers pointing, I do not see earnest realization to a problem that started much, much,  much sooner than just two years ago.

My family needs work period. My family, and my neighbors family, and my brothers family, and the people on the corner just want to help by working hard. There is no time for rose colored glasses. I hear the recession is over ( yeah right) tell that to the people who are loosing their homes in record numbers over and over again. The recession is no more over than my refrigerator is full. I try to not be pessimistic, but the fact is that for plenty of people the reality is that they will possibly be the next to be homeless.

We have not a job for tomorrow, but we will rise and keep seeking until we find one, We have lost our business, but not our will to succeed. We have our faith challenged everyday, but we will not cave in and give up. We will keep moving forward even if every one tells us that there is nothing for us. I am a realist and the thing that is most evident to me is that the wheels keep on going round and round no matter who is on for the ride, so I choose today and I know that I will choose the same tomorrow to get on the heartbreaking ever relentless struggle no matter what comes or goes.

I feel overwhelmed at the loss of what our business could have been, but I will not let that be the end of what we can be.

Food For The Mind

Lilly’s Way  www.lillysway.com

There are so many questions here of late so I can answer the easy ones.

If I do not post your comment it is because I go to every website, or e-mail, or rs feed, on every comment to see who is interested in what I write and frankly there are places that are full of spam, or will not load, or do not even exist.

I do not post some comments because they are very negative or malicious and if that is what you want to share more power to you , but do it on your own site.

I use Word Press and my son and I chose the color scheme, the flow, and the adds.

I do write as often as I can and yes this is my life, and frankly were are just like you or any one else in this world, My life is as normal and relative to most anyone I know, but I just happen to write about it. I have so many stories of my life, so clearly stated because I am blessed to have a photographic memory for incidents that bring my emotions to stir and share.

I am in love with the sky and my favorite color (if you do not know by now) is Blue.

My favorite perfume is Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion (why would anyone want to ask that)

I would have to say that I listen to classic rock more than any other music, but I love NPR radio every morning and leave the classical music on until Walton and Johnson are off the radio, for they could ruin anyone’s day. Colonel St. James rocks. That is just how I feel and well that is that.

I do twit but not often I am still undecided about it, I do not face book.

I have 3 thousand stories that I have counted, and 28 note books with stories that I have not counted. They were all written through out my life but some I have not been able to share yet. Some are sad, and bad, and some are the most dear to me so the jury is out as to what I will share next. It is the day in a life past and present that makes me who I am

I love people, and dancing, and music, and the trees most of all the trees.

Give me winter summer and fall and the anticipation of the summer heat I can live with.

I am very grateful to have this computer it makes my life so wonderful because I get to share with you and I can read what you have to say.

Life is short so I am trying to get all I can out of it

Lilly’s Way.  www.lillysway.com        lillysway@gmail.com